This is the third year in a row I’m speaking about National Widows Day which occurs on May 3rd. And like last year, I’m trying to give you some advance notice so you can participate.
National Widows Day was started by the folks over at Widow Wednesday, an extension of their Widow Wednesdays where they encourage people to help out the widows and widowers in their own lives, ideally once a week. This help can be anything from helping with chores or repairs around the home, to sending a card or flowers or small gift (anything to let them know they haven’t been forgotten), to a simple conversation.
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It should simply be something that reminds the widows and / or widowers in your life that they have not been abandoned. You see, in the very early stages of loss, the grieving are surrounded by so many supporters; there are people who drop off casseroles, and those who step in to handle arrangements or child care or household chores, and those who simply offer a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on.
Not that those people are unwanted or unappreciated, but in the earliest days, the grieving are wandering around in a fog. They don’t always even notice what’s going on around them. And that’s when everyone comes. Later on when the dust settles and the fog lifts, many widows and widowers look around to find (or feel) they are all alone. Others return to their regularly scheduled lives, while theirs (ours) are forever changed.
The goal of this day specifically (and Widow Wednesday in particular) is simply to connect with someone you know who is suffering from a loss. Remind them they are still very much remembered, loved, and most importantly, alive. Whether it has been 10 days, 10 months, or 10 years, we appreciate knowing that we are on your mind. Trust me, it always seems that I get a message, a phone call, or a small gift (often simply the gift of time) when I’m deep in some of my darkest moments, and they get me through.
And if you really want to follow the suggestion of the WW community, remind them more than just once a year. Pick a different widow/widower every week (or once a month) and do something for them. Anything at all. And it doesn’t even have to be a Wednesday.
xoxo
Cheri G
© Many Faces of Cheri G 2019
Many Faces of Cheri G 
Its been 8 months & 9 days since I lost my husband .They say it gets better,but everyday is as hard as the first even now.In the past 8 months I have moved back closer to friends & family.Each day I strive to just get to the end of it.This day brings us together with pain & getting back to almost normal.thoughts & prayers to all .
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Darcie, I’m not sure who is telling you it gets better, but they’re right. Partially. You are still so early in your grieving. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You lose your past, present, AND future when you lose a spouse. It takes time to heal. A LOT of time. And the pain will diminish over time but it never really goes away fully.
I encourage you to read this blog post. https://manyfacesofcherig.com/2017/04/17/365-days-of-healing-what-i-learned-in-my-first-year-of-grieving/ It is some of the things I wished I had known at the beginning of grieving.
Be patient with yourself and feel free to reach out to me if you need to.
xoxo
Cheri G
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Thank you for this post and blog. It’s been five years for me. I just don’t think you really ever get over it.
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Hello, Emily and thank you. You’re right… most of us never “get over it”, but I don’t believe we’re supposed to. We should move forward but should not be expected to “move on”. Hugs.
Cheri G
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I have been a widow for 15 months and never heard of it
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As days of recognition go, it’s fairly new (less than 10 years), and unfortunately people don’t like to call attention to widows and widowers, so I’m not surprised you haven’t. Hopefully you day was as positive as it could be. Take care.
xoxo
Cheri G
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I have not heard of this I have been a Widow for 6 years I have friends that are as well we keep in touch as much as possible and it has helped and will help on those Days you need someone time is a wonderful gift I try to gift my time as much as I can it’s so rewarding and is very helpful in the healing process. Thank you
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Cathy, you are quite welcome. Unfortunately many people (especially widows and widowers) have never heard of the day. Even though it is intended for May 3rd, I think the concept of keeping connected is ideal for any day of the year. Our support systems mean more than they could ever know. xoxo
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I have not heard of this and I am a widow of 4 years next week. It is unfortunate but I understand the feeling of being alone when the fog lifts. Some days are still pretty foggy but I take one day at a time. Love to you all ❤
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