What I Learned at Camp Widow

For those of you who know me, it probably won’t come as a surprise that I identify as being an ambivert. In case you’ve never heard the term before, for me it essentially means that I’m shy until I’m not. This past weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to attend Camp Widow. [If you or […]

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Widows Are…

I’ve learned a great deal from the widowed community.  From those whom I know personally, and those whom I’ve met only virtually.  As a collective, we are many things.  Below are but a few: Widows are: Antisocial – Sometimes we just want to be left alone.  Grief can be a heavy burden, draining every ounce […]

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500 Days

Today marks Day 500 since I lost A.  Lost him.  Such a stupid phrase, when it feels more that he was ripped from our lives, his passing leaving jagged scars and empty spaces in our lives. 500 days.  That’s almost long enough to carry two babies to term.  It’s more than two-and-a half school years.  […]

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Ain’t No Sunshine…

Yes.  I sometimes speak of my husband in the present tense.  Often, in fact.  And generally, I don’t even think about it being “wrong” until after the words pass my lips.  Then I have this hyperspeed conversation with myself, essentially going back and forth about what I said, why I said it, who I said […]

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Downward Slope

I’ve been stuck in a bit of a weird place this last week or so (even stranger than the place I’ve been in for nearly the past year).  You see, the one year mark is looming, not only for A’s passing in mid-April, but also for his heart attack at the beginning of the month. […]

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Coffee Mugs and Boxer Briefs

I used my husband’s coffee mug this morning.  That may not seem like earth shattering news to most people, but there are those who are in the same situation as I am who will understand the significance of this. Although I wear his wedding band on a chain around my neck, occasionally wear his watch, […]

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Stormy Season

Let me preface this post by saying that things are definitely getting “better” in my life.  I feel more like my former self all the time.  I know I’m healing, but don’t believe I can ever get to a point where I can say I’m “healed”. That being said, I have definitely felt a change […]

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