Things Your Dad Taught You About How to Treat the Woman You Love

A Letter to Our Son

 

 

Dear Son:

You have matured into quite the young man.  I am proud of you every single day, as I can see so many of your father’s traits, behaviors, and idiosyncrasies in you.  He is watching you from a distance and, I’m sure, is proud at the person you are becoming, too.

There are things you should have learned from watching your father about how to treat the woman you love. Grand gestures are wonderful on occasion, but it’s the everyday little things that will speak volumes throughout the course of a relationship. And it’s these seemingly small expressions of love that, when strung together, will create a life worth living.

Read them.  Remember them.  Live them.

Love Always,

Mom

Always treat her like a lady. Open her car door. Every time, even if she protests. Hold open other doors, too, and let her go through first. Not only when you’re on a date, but even if you’re just on an outing to the grocery store or the post office.

Be kind. Be considerate. Be a gentleman. It is not outdated.

Pay for the date. Always, if you can. But if she makes more than you and she chooses to treat sometimes, let her. Sometimes.

Hold out the chair while she sits down. Wait for her to sit before you do.

Carry the heavy packages for her, even if she’s strong enough to do it herself.

Check her tires /oil / gas. Make sure she can get to and from wherever she’s going safely.  Be at the ready to rescue her if she doesn’t.

Hold her hand. Stroke her hair. Kiss her forehead. Look into her eyes and let her truly see you. Be gentle and tender.

Tell her how beautiful she is. Every day. Several times a day. And mean it.  But recognize that she also needs to hear how smart, talented, giving, and incredible she is in other ways, as well.  This is not to say that you should pay her false compliments, but rather that she should always know how much you value her.

Tell her what she means to you. Often. Never let her have to guess.

Say “I love you” as often as possible. Follow it up with actions so she never has to question the words.

Support her dreams.

Protect her. Stand up for her. Fight for her. Let her know that someone has her back, will always have her back. You can disagree in private, but out in public, display a united front.

Trust her with your secrets. If you can’t trust her – or don’t – then she isn’t “the one”. Don’t waste time with anyone who isn’t “the one”. That only hurts both of you.

If she isn’t the right one for you, let her down easy, and don’t bad mouth her. She may not be a good fit for you, but she is right for someone else, so you don’t screw that up for her.

Give her your coat when she’s cold. Even if you are, too.

Care for her when she’s sick. Make a cup of tea. Cover her with a blanket. Run to the pharmacy and get cold medicine.

Ask her about her day. Or her past. Or her future. Listen while she talks. Remember what she says, and use it someday when you’re buying her a gift.  Or writing a letter.  Or proposing.

If she wants to complain about her boss (or frenemy, or the woman at the grocery store), let her vent.  Sometimes she’ll just want to let out some frustration and won’t necessarily need (or want) you to fix it for her.

If it does need fixing, help her.  Or do it for her (with her permission).

Don’t discount her feelings, whatever they may be.  Just because something may seem like no big deal to you, doesn’t mean it isn’t very important to her.

Buy her gifts. Bring her flowers. Write a love note. Sometimes a gift can be something she needs, but sometimes, make it frivolous and something she wouldn’t buy for herself. Make an effort to track down that one thing you know will make her cry happy tears.

Make her laugh. Even when she’s mad at you. If you can do that, you’re golden.

Treat her with respect. Make sure she knows she matters to you. Make sure she knows she matters, period.

Cook for her. Do the dishes. Do the laundry. Be a true partner. Life won’t always be 50/50, but make sure you pull your weight.

If and when you have children, make sure to be a partner there, as well. Spend time with your children, both with her and alone. Remember, it’s not babysitting if they are your own children; it’s called parenting.

Let her cry when she needs to, but comfort her when she does. Let her see you cry on occasion.  It’s OK to be vulnerable every now and then.  It’s not weakness.  Rather, it shows how caring and deep you truly are.  By opening up and being vulnerable to her, she knows that it is safe to trust you.

Include her in your passions and join her in hers. You may both discover a new hobby. If not, continue doing what you love, anyway, without sacrificing couple time.

Spend time together.  Enjoy separate interests, but live a life together. It makes the bond grow stronger.

And the most important thing Daddy taught you? Be faithful. Love her and only her. ‘Til death do you part.

© 2016 Many Faces of Cheri G All Rights Reserved