National Widows Day was started by the folks over at Widow Wednesday, an extension of their Widow Wednesdays where they encourage people to help out the widows and widowers in their own lives, ideally once a week. This help can be anything from helping with chores or repairs around the home, to sending a card or flowers or small gift (anything to let them know they haven’t been forgotten), to a simple conversation.
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It should simply be something that reminds the widows and / or widowers in your life that they have not been abandoned. You see, in the very early stages of loss, the grieving are surrounded by so many supporters; there are people who drop off casseroles, and those who step in to handle arrangements or child care or household chores, and those who simply offer a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on.
Not that those people are unwanted or unappreciated, but in the earliest days, the grieving are wandering around in a fog. They don’t always even notice what’s going on around them. And that’s when everyone comes. Later on when the dust settles and the fog lifts, many widows and widowers look around to find (or feel) they are all alone. Others return to their regularly scheduled lives, while theirs (ours) are forever changed.
The goal of this day specifically (and Widow Wednesday in particular) is simply to connect with someone you know who is suffering from a loss. Remind them they are still very much remembered, loved, and most importantly, alive. Whether it has been 10 days, 10 months, or 10 years, we appreciate knowing that we are on your mind. Trust me, it always seems that I get a message, a phone call, or a small gift (often simply the gift of time) when I’m deep in some of my darkest moments, and they get me through.
And if you really want to follow the suggestion of the WW community, remind them more than just once a year. Pick a different widow/widower every week (or once a month) and do something for them. Anything at all. And it doesn’t even have to be a Wednesday.
© Many Faces of Cheri G 2019