Now, it probably seems as though my husband was a hopeless romantic who constantly doled out sickeningly sweet compliments. While he definitely had his fair share of awwwww-inspiring moments, he could just as often be found dishing out less-than-ideal (yet humorous) attention, as well. He could often make me laugh, even when I wanted so badly to be angry with him, a frustrating habit to say the least.
In no particular order, here are some of his more memorable not-so-sweet nothings:
- During the 90s, he would sometimes refer to me as “Tender Chunks” (a popular dog food at the time – isn’t that every girl’s dream pet name??)
- Two things you should know – 1. I have a rather large bottom, and 2. People (typically strangers) often seem to be mysteriously compelled to stand much too close to it, especially in grocery lines or other public places. This caused my husband to theorize that my butt has its own gravitational pull causing others to get pulled into its orbit.
- One day while dressed in a new white outfit, he remarked, “You look like an angel! Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah…It probably did. You’re such a klutz, you probably fell through the ceiling, landed on the dining room table, had to get up and dust yourself off.”
- During one particular argument (over something insignificant, I’m sure), he caused me to snap, “Don’t order me around!” He came right back with “I didn’t order you round. You just came that way.”
Even when hen poking fun at me, my husband always knew how to make me laugh. I believed he lived by the Marilyn Monroe quote, knowing that making me laugh was the key to our mutual happiness. And he did it so well.
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