Pardon the Mess

If this is your first visit here, welcome to my crazy.  If you are returning, thank you.  In either case, please share this site with someone who may find some comfort from one who has been there. After the sudden death of my 50 y.o. high-school sweetheart husband from undiagnosed heart disease, I became an […]

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Understanding Widowhood

Becoming a Widow… Makes you feel like an outsider Like being the one black crayon in a world full of brightly colored markers. Makes you feel incompetent Like trying to eat rice with one chopstick from a spinning plate. Makes you feel powerless Like being blindfolded and placed backwards on a roller coaster.  Drunk. Makes […]

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Art is Beauty

If it seems that I’ve been somewhat MIA here, you’re right.  My time is not my own these days and I don’t get many opportunities to sit at my computer and tell you what’s going on with me – I prefer to actually be out there trying to live my life again. Part of that […]

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Widows Are…

I’ve learned a great deal from the widowed community.  From those whom I know personally, and those whom I’ve met only virtually.  As a collective, we are many things.  Below are but a few: Widows are: Antisocial – Sometimes we just want to be left alone.  Grief can be a heavy burden, draining every ounce […]

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Shadows of the Past

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything.  It feels as though I’m letting you all down, but my writing just seems to have become redundant: “I thought about A today and it made me sad, but I’m choosing to not let it get me too down. The End” Honestly, that’s my daily life […]

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Stand My Ground

If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you may have noticed that I don’t generally write about current events.  I’m not sure I mentioned the election or any other political topic, even in passing.  Similarly, I tend to gloss over the holidays, as well. It’s not exactly intentional, and it’s barely a […]

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Settling In

I’m back in that weird place again.  Just when I thought I was turning another corner, there’s a new roadblock in my way.  I’ve been feeling A’s loss again rather profoundly the past week or so, despite having a bit of a respite for awhile.  Although his absence is always felt, it seems that it […]

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