Pardon the Mess

If this is your first visit here, welcome to my crazy.  If you are returning, thank you.  In either case, please share this site with someone who may find some comfort from one who has been there. After the sudden death of my 50 y.o. high-school sweetheart husband from undiagnosed heart disease, I became an […]

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What I Learned at Camp Widow

For those of you who know me, it probably won’t come as a surprise that I identify as being an ambivert. In case you’ve never heard the term before, for me it essentially means that I’m shy until I’m not. This past weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to attend Camp Widow. [If you or […]

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Front Row Seat

In case you don’t know (although I’m fairly certain most of you probably do) Facebook has an “On This Day” function, which basically shows you photos and updates that you’ve posted in previous years on a particular date. Since A passed, this has been one of the things I look forward to most each day. […]

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Understanding Widowhood

Becoming a Widow… Makes you feel like an outsider Like being the one black crayon in a world full of brightly colored markers. Makes you feel incompetent Like trying to eat rice with one chopstick from a spinning plate. Makes you feel powerless Like being blindfolded and placed backwards on a roller coaster.  Drunk. Makes […]

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Art is Beauty

If it seems that I’ve been somewhat MIA here, you’re right.  My time is not my own these days and I don’t get many opportunities to sit at my computer and tell you what’s going on with me – I prefer to actually be out there trying to live my life again. Part of that […]

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Widows Are…

I’ve learned a great deal from the widowed community.  From those whom I know personally, and those whom I’ve met only virtually.  As a collective, we are many things.  Below are but a few: Widows are: Antisocial – Sometimes we just want to be left alone.  Grief can be a heavy burden, draining every ounce […]

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Shadows of the Past

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything.  It feels as though I’m letting you all down, but my writing just seems to have become redundant: “I thought about A today and it made me sad, but I’m choosing to not let it get me too down. The End” Honestly, that’s my daily life […]

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