Pardon the Mess

If this is your first visit here, welcome to my crazy.  If you are returning, thank you.  In either case, please share this site with someone who may find some comfort from one who has been there. After the sudden death of my 50 y.o. high-school sweetheart husband from undiagnosed heart disease, I became an […]

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Widows Are…

I’ve learned a great deal from the widowed community.  From those whom I know personally, and those whom I’ve met only virtually.  As a collective, we are many things.  Below are but a few: Widows are: Antisocial – Sometimes we just want to be left alone.  Grief can be a heavy burden, draining every ounce […]

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Shadows of the Past

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve written anything.  It feels as though I’m letting you all down, but my writing just seems to have become redundant: “I thought about A today and it made me sad, but I’m choosing to not let it get me too down. The End” Honestly, that’s my daily life […]

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Stand My Ground

If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you may have noticed that I don’t generally write about current events.  I’m not sure I mentioned the election or any other political topic, even in passing.  Similarly, I tend to gloss over the holidays, as well. It’s not exactly intentional, and it’s barely a […]

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Settling In

I’m back in that weird place again.  Just when I thought I was turning another corner, there’s a new roadblock in my way.  I’ve been feeling A’s loss again rather profoundly the past week or so, despite having a bit of a respite for awhile.  Although his absence is always felt, it seems that it […]

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The Life That Swallowed Grief

Recently, I came across a photo online, one I have seen before but which took on a whole new meaning to me when I saw it this time.  Sometimes referred to as the “tree that ate a bicycle”, the image shows a tree on Washington’s Vashon Island that seems to envelop a long-forgotten bike. The […]

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Riders of the Storm

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock (or are still deeply entrenched in widow’s fog – in which case I completely understand), you’ve likely seen the reports of Hurricane Irma and the devastation she has already left behind and is still causing in the Caribbean as of this posting. This whole “Irmageddon” thing is making […]

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500 Days

Today marks Day 500 since I lost A.  Lost him.  Such a stupid phrase, when it feels more that he was ripped from our lives, his passing leaving jagged scars and empty spaces in our lives. 500 days.  That’s almost long enough to carry two babies to term.  It’s more than two-and-a half school years.  […]

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