My world shattered when I became a widow. I am now attempting to reassemble the broken shards into something damaged, fractured, and scarred, yet beautiful.
I’ve spoken recently about how odd it feels loving two men. It’s as if I’m straddling an invisible line between the present and the past. The stronger my feelings grow for S, the sharper my present (and my future) become, while my past takes on a softer glow, losing definition around the edges. I recently […]
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At some point after losing A, when I had begun to consider the possibility of dating again, I started to listen to the stories of others who had traveled that path before me. Some called their next loves their “chapter 2”, but that phrase never sat well with me. To me, a Chapter 2 would […]
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My past and present collided this week. Perhaps “collided” is too strong a word, because it implies force or an impact. When I think of a collision, I see destruction and violence. What happened to me wasn’t violent or destructive, but no less powerful. This is a rough time of year for me. Of course […]
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Lately, I’ve been discussing dating and relationships at great length with my “uncoupled” friends. I’m purposely choosing a variation of Gwyneth Paltrow’s euphemism on being single because I’ve been talking to both widows and my “normie” divorced friends about the subject, so it’s less a widow thing and more a single woman thing. Dating for […]
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If it seems that I’ve been somewhat MIA here, you’re right. My time is not my own these days and I don’t get many opportunities to sit at my computer and tell you what’s going on with me – I prefer to actually be out there trying to live my life again. Part of that […]
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I looked at myself naked in my bathroom mirror the other day. Really looked at myself. And, in some ways, it’s as if I’m seeing myself for the very first time. Have my boobs always looked like that, or have even they changed since A’s death? They just look different to me somehow. Are they […]
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A random string of memories popped up today, and not exactly the “best” ones. I’m not entirely sure why they decided to rear their heads, although possibly, they may have come from hearing Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love and specifically the lyrics: “Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud. Their piercing sounds […]
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