Naked Truth

I looked at myself naked in my bathroom mirror the other day. Really looked at myself. And, in some ways, it’s as if I’m seeing myself for the very first time. Have my boobs always looked like that, or have even they changed since A’s death?  They just look different to me somehow.  Are they […]

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Fighting for Love

A random string of memories popped up today, and not exactly the “best” ones.   I’m not entirely sure why they decided to rear their heads, although possibly, they may have come from hearing Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love and specifically the lyrics: “Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud.   Their piercing sounds […]

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My New Sleeping Partner

This Mother’s Day seemed hard, as were the days leading up to it.  Harder than last year, when I think I was still very deep in the numbness following A’s death.  In the initial hours, days and weeks of losing a loved one, there is a sort of blanket of despair that, while heavy and […]

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Continued Drought

Since becoming widowed, I have been told, in essence, that the second year of grief is more difficult than the first.  I have heard it said so many times that I felt there must be some truth to it.  I’m only a few weeks into my “Year Two” and probably unqualified to really weigh in […]

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Cardinal Song

I’ve spoken on more than one occasion of the importance of music in my relationship with my late husband.  It was an integral part of our family life, and the value and meaning of certain songs and lyrics haven’t stopped simply because he’s not physically here to share the moments with me. There are times […]

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Losing the Chaff

I’ve never been the most sociable person, mainly due to my shyness and low self-esteem. It’s actually quite curious, because some recent conversations have me analyzing the concept of perspective; it seems that many people view me in a completely different light than I view myself. Those who know me best, get the truest me […]

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Where Love Grows

Ever since my recent major meltdown, I had been doing fairly well.  As you likely know, this is a relative term, and applies to my “new normal”.  (I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but I really dislike that expression.  I was quite content with my “old normal” and never asked for an updated version.) But […]

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