Pardon the Mess

If this is your first visit here, welcome to my crazy.  If you are returning, thank you.  In either case, please share this site with someone who may find some comfort from one who has been there. After the sudden death of my 50 y.o. high-school sweetheart husband from undiagnosed heart disease, I became an […]

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Lean on Me

My uncle is having open heart surgery today. This is my father’s younger brother and the father of my cousin / maid of honor / honorary nose wiper. Yes, I mean that cousin, the same one who dropped everything and hopped a flight to be by my side when A was in the hospital, despite the […]

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Continued Drought

Since becoming widowed, I have been told, in essence, that the second year of grief is more difficult than the first.  I have heard it said so many times that I felt there must be some truth to it.  I’m only a few weeks into my “Year Two” and probably unqualified to really weigh in […]

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National Widows Day 2017

Have you ever heard of National Widows Day?  Yeah, me, neither.   But this year it’s on Wednesday, May 3rd, for the record. It’s a fairly new event that evolved from a concept known as Widow’s Wednesday.  This was started as essentially a way for people to remember the widows (and widowers) in their lives by […]

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Coffee Mugs and Boxer Briefs

I used my husband’s coffee mug this morning.  That may not seem like earth shattering news to most people, but there are those who are in the same situation as I am who will understand the significance of this. Although I wear his wedding band on a chain around my neck, occasionally wear his watch, […]

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Losing the Chaff

I’ve never been the most sociable person, mainly due to my shyness and low self-esteem. It’s actually quite curious, because some recent conversations have me analyzing the concept of perspective; it seems that many people view me in a completely different light than I view myself. Those who know me best, get the truest me […]

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Grief is a Bully

I sometimes (often?) have arguments with the ghost of my husband.  Perhaps argument is too strong a word, and quite likely it isn’t really him or his ghost, but simply my own delusional mind still trying to make sense of everything. These disagreements are rarely about anything important, but isn’t that the way most marriages […]

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